The Scariest Hockey Players Ever

In the spirit of things that scare us and give us nightmares, here’s my list in no particular order:

  1. Some guy I played house league against in Peterborough in my late teens who last name was Terien.   Right up there when one thinks of insane.  From the time the puck dropped, he was looking to scrap or just swing his stick wildly (think McSorley) or hit some one from behind at high speed.  If his sister /mother / aunt / barber / parole officer had heckled him, he would have went over the boards at them I’m convinced.
  2. About half the players in the tournament I played in one year in Lakefield in the 90’s that billed itself as some Christian / Church League event that promoted sportsmanship and humanity and apple pie.   I’m not knocking religion or Christianity or Budhism or Mitt Romney and his merry band of tea-party folks, but this was one mixed up group of young church going men.   It was like playing in the movie “Slapshot” without swearing or references to the goalie’s wife being a dyke.
  3. Bob Probert – was this guy tough or what?  And while an enforcer first and foremost, he actually did have some skills.
  4. Tim Ireland or Webbie on any given night.  Sorry boys, the truth hurts and you both frighten me.
  5. Ogie  Oglethorpe – just for the hair
  6. Sean Fitzgerald – a goalie who was 6 foot 15 inches tall and who I believe I never scored a single goal on during all my house league years.
  7. My Dad at the annual Boxing Day Family Christmas get-together (this one deserves an entry of its own in honour of all the preschoolers whose ankes and shins were permanently damaged during such games and I’ll write that one around boxing day this year)
  8. Bryan Cormier’s dad (not a hockey player himself but a parent of a fellow house league  player who….hmmm…how do i put this delicately without omitting the part about the call to the police where he had to be restrained with eyes buldging out of his head in anger over …I can’t’ remember what)?
  9. Jason (not Fulcher, the masked movie Gladiator who didn’t like teenagers)
  10. Borje Salming, for his face after all those years of playing against the Flyers and for the wild, six-foot-high slapshots he’d take around the boards in his own end to clear the zone.

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